The 2 Young Lords

Featured Image – Lord Michael Young

Sophie Young is a palliative care nurse who lives in Totnes. She is the daughter of Lord Michael Young, one of the leading political thinkers and social innovators of the last century, who was also a trustee of Dartington Hall Trust for 50 years. Here she reflects on having her journalist brother, Toby, also elevated to the House of Lords.

By Sophie Young

Earlier this year my brother, Toby Young, became Lord Young of Acton. Our father was also Lord Young, made a Labour peer in 1978 for a lifetime of service to the country. My brother has taken the Conservative whip and as such is a maverick in a family of lefties.

This veering to the right is often seen as a reaction to our parents, as if the only way to get attention from our distant father was to show the finger to that Champagne socialist nonsense and tell it like it is. But Toby rejects this explanation, saying in a radio interview in 1998 that he seemed to have sprung fully formed from our mother’s womb, naturally rebellious and irreverent, and just got a great deal of pleasure from ‘baiting earnest knee jerk lefties’. At the age of 14 he put up ‘How to spot a red teacher’ posters at Dartington Arts College. Our father had just taken the title Lord Young of Dartington.

When Michael was offered the peerage, he wasn’t sure whether to accept and discussed it with the family. He was a socialist, after all, ambivalent about the British class system, worried it might make him less accessible, and didn’t want to be seen as looking for these kinds of rewards. Our mother, in some ways more of a socialist than our father, considered the institution too elitist and thought he should decline. I was for accepting, as it would provide him with a wider forum and stronger platform from which to influence decision makers and further his many good causes. Toby was more interested in whether as the son of a Lord, he’d be an ‘Honourable’.

Our father was one of the great social innovators of the 20th century, the driving force behind some 50 different organisations including the Open University and the Consumers’ Association as well as writing the Labour Party Manifesto in 1945 with its blueprint for the NHS and Welfare State. He also wrote many influential books, coined the word ‘meritocracy’, and was a pioneer of modern sociology. And behind these achievements was his brilliant polymath mind, a catherine wheel from whose luminous sparks these organisations grew, endlessly spinning and finding new ways to benefit society and humanity.

Being a leftie myself, I inevitably have mixed feelings about Toby’s ennoblement by the Leader of the Conservative Party. This is nothing new. We are in opposing camps on Brexit, Covid vaccination, lockdowns, climate change and other big issues of the day. The only ones we agree on are assisted dying (against) and the value of the House of Lords (for). But I am determined not to let this bittersweet peerage pill undermine our relationship.

baiting earnest knee jerk lefties

Powerful Words

Toby’s ‘bitterness’, his contrarian and at times obnoxious behaviour, is well known in the public arena and has cost him dearly. He honed his skills of provoking others from an early age, first me, our neighbours, family members, teachers, friends, then celebrities and establishment figures such as Robert Maxwell, Harold Evans, and pretty much any Labour bigwig. In 2018, some of the more outrageous things he’d said on social media came to light after he was appointed as a non-executive director of a public regulator, leading to public humiliation and resignation from all his positions apart from the Spectator. But he built his career back up from the rubble, setting up the Daily Sceptic and Free Speech Union, now culminating in this peerage.

His ‘sweetness’ is not so widely recognised: his innate generosity, charm and humour, his uncompromising honesty and sharp intelligence. He didn’t blame me when as a teenager I accidentally killed his gerbil, Giselle, by balancing her on my head when under the influence, or when I crashed his beloved Vespa. And although he may be an expert in losing friends and alienating people, he has a group of long-standing and close friends who were there to see him ennobled.

Sensitive Guts

There is also his ‘gutsiness’, to use his own word. As a family we lived in Nigeria for nine months not far from the Sahara hinterland. One morning he appeared at our door, red faced and sweaty. He had run the five miles home from school in the searing sun, traumatised by a girl there saying to him, “You are a glass of milk, I will drink you for my breakfast”. But he returned to school the next day. As he wrote in his diary at the time, “I’m a sensitive little boy, but I’ve got a lot of guts”.

Too busy?

Although Michael achieved so much in the public sphere, and was outwardly revered almost as a saint, this was at a cost to his family, common among successful men. His attention was absorbed in working, always working, not just during normal working hours but evenings, weekends, holidays, even birthdays. He rarely played with us when we were little, although he did tell us wonderful made-up bedtime stories. Michael loved us, we knew that, but was a distant figure, preoccupied. And his failings in the home never diminished our love for him or took away from his myriad achievements. Rather they served to counterbalance what might have otherwise been too perfect, and the positives were so prodigious that they outweighed his flaws.

They listened to each other

Toby is devoted to his wife, and with her support, he has fully engaged with his four children from the word go, not as a burden he resents but with a sense of fun and companionship. To the surprise of many who knew him as an irresponsible, self-centred laddish lad, he has built a happy marriage and combined this with hard work, often at night while the family rest.

Getting Along

Michael and Toby had a good relationship. Toby admired his writing and intellect, while Michael admired Toby’s confidence and entrepreneurial spirit.  They listened to each other, although disagreement became more common as Toby got older. Toby was proud of Michael but didn’t put him on a pedestal.  Would our parents be proud of Toby? The question everyone asks me except Toby. I have felt an unspoken pressure to say that they would, almost as if I am their living proxy. But like me, they would probably have mixed feelings because of his politics.

I think they were – and still would be – proud of Toby’s ability to apply himself diligently to whatever the task in hand despite all the risks and obstacles, whether it was getting a First at Oxford despite leaving school at sixteen with no O-Levels, starting the era-defining Modern Review from scratch in his 20s, or satirising his rise and fall as a young journalist in New York in the best-selling book, ‘How to Lose Friends and Alienate People’. They would have been proud too of the way he set about starting the West London Free School, and now the Free Speech Union, even if not going along with all these organisations stand for. Like Michael, his resolve and determination has only been strengthened by the naysayers and obstacles which would have stopped most people.

Different Drum

However, it’s fair to say their pride might have been tempered by a disagreement with his political views and sometimes rebarbative speech. But, like me, they would have been unequivocally proud of Toby for his behaviour away from the limelight, where he has not followed in our father’s footsteps. And not to follow the pattern our parents set for us is no easy thing.

Now Toby has gone ermine clad into the hallowed chamber of ennobled ones, the most exclusive of British clubs with its subsidised bars and restaurants, its beautiful terrace overlooking the river and the soothing smell of leather, wood polish and privilege. But it’s also a civilised debating chamber that looks at the fine detail of legislation and holds the government to account. It is a great honour and responsibility to be part of this. I hope that my parent’s spirits will guide him and act as a moral conscience as they did in their lifetimes.

In Short

So well done Toby, my little brother, for having the energy and determination to follow and yet not to follow in our father’s footsteps. And congratulations for the peerage which I hope you will use for the greater good. You are used to being a thorn in the side of the establishment, but you are the establishment now.

 

Dartington Estate are celebrating 100 years this year with events to mark the centenary – Memories Of Dartington is being held on the evening of Friday 4th July at the Green Table – Full details and tickets here: https://www.tixtree.com/e/dartington-arts-centenary-night-celebrations-fed8ecbf4a9c